bettydays:

invisiblespork:

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I feel so bad but i’m just sitting here cackling as my bestie is sending me increasingly exasperated texts about her students’ first research paper (1 page long lol). Like. Despite having deadlines for each stage of research and writing, one kid emailed her at 7:45 pm for the final 10 pm deadline with a question about “resurch.” Multiple kids have plagiarized their papers, one of whom didn’t even bother changing the font or the color of the sections he copied and pasted. One girl just cited a fucking fanfiction story as one of her sources.

Middle schoolers are so precious, but god they can be so stupid too. Darling children lol

update: fanfiction girl may have put it in the works cited but didn’t even bother to put quotation marks in as she just copied and pasted two full pages of a fanfiction into her paper. every little additional detail i learn about these papers just gets worse lol

she sent me the link of the story she copied and pasted. it is…not good. it’s not even a good story. why did she steal it? god this entire sordid tale is so baffling. is it possible that this child has genuinely mistaken bad self-insert fanfiction for legitimate greek mythology? the world may never know

“Also, fanfiction.net is a community of modern fiction writers, and is not a credible source for your research papers.” - an actual sentence my friend just had to write to her students. i’m dying this is incredible lol

“Although the Trojan horse is something we all think is real, it’s actually classified as a myth.” oh you sweet summer child

“I used this video thing to find out what the roman house you can find out.” what does this even mean lol

god they’re such precious babies fumbling around like newborn colts and i am living

“The Trojan War Horse was built around the time the Trojan War took place.” I mean. He’s not wrong…

“ Like Gaea, Ouranos had a human form too, in his human form he was a tall buff guy, with long black hair, wearing only a loincloth… (don’t judge me, Gaea was the one who made him…) So then they get married, bla bla bla bal bal.”

“ So they have triplets, and these kids define UGLY. Now don’t get me wrong they were as big and strong as the titans but they were so brutish and NEEDED any kind of waxing, and to top it all off each one had a huge eye in the middle of their forehead. They became the elder cyclops.Of course when Ouranos saw them he was like “Nope!” and made chains out the nights pure blackness and chained up the triplets and tossed them into the pit.”

“ So Gaea had come up with this new and brilliant idea called killing.”

“ But that is a story for another time. For now I will work on painting some of the moments for the LAVP so see ya later.My references are:“Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods” book by Rick Riordan, Goggle, Wikapedia”

image

Okay I honestly never anticipated this post to go beyond my immediate circle, and apparently some people have missed the point of this post. This is their first paper. They are learning and part of learning is doing things very badly before doing them well. Honestly I only wanted to share some nostalgic cute-response trigger with y’all witnessing the first adorable, fumbling baby steps into this kind of assignment, not for some of you to fucking judge them or their teacher just because their first attempts aren’t perfect. So like. God just enjoy it without being an asshole.

“In this paragraph I will be telling you the dimensions of the Colosseum in Rome.” “In this paragraph I will be talking about the features of the Colosseum.”

Not what was meant by making sure you have a strong thesis statement, but kudos to this kid who was obviously listening and trying to apply that to their paper <3

“I am going to talk about things like Odysseus’s stops, the characters involved with his stops, and how long and far he traveled to get home. I can’t wait to show you everything that I have learned so far!”

oh my god this precious sunflower

“Nearly every town in Ancient Greek has a patron god or goddess because most gods didn’t share well.” There’s almost nothing wrong with this sentence I’m just enjoying this masterful use of understatement.

i read this entire thing nodding, going, yes, yes, this is what my students are like also. this is #relatable content. 

then i read “middle schoolers”

i am a graduate assistant

i teach college students

vextera:

guardofvariansbutt:

The other day at the mall i saw a 15 year old sitting in a Claire’s piercing booth and it took every fiber in my being to not just grab her and take her to the actual, clean and sanitary and not guaranteed to fuck up your ears tattoo shop literally next door. Like I was frantic. Snakes manifested in my house

Piercing guns almost ALWAYS cause infections

They hurt more because they jam dull jewelry into your ear

Needles from a professional are designed to allow for minimum damage thus less pain.

The people working there literally have no idea what the fuck they’re doing and just guess it with a 1 hour training video vs a professional who trained under a mentor for at least a year and has a passion in the craft

They use bad metal for healings (copper, silver, etc) that can irritate ears. Surgical grade steel should be the only thing in your healing piercings

They put them on way to tight, causing swelling issues. Swelling is normal and piercings should be large enough to allow for that

They give you shit aftercare advice and cleaner (literally just buy saline solution at Spencer’s or hot topic for 8 dollars at the most and don’t touch them at all)

If done on cartilage it can LITERALLY SHATTER YOUR EARS

Please if any young girls in your family want their ears pierced take them to actual professional and don’t trust piercing guns. If a professional says your kid is too young (I.e a fucking baby) then trust their professional judgement. It costs more but you are getting essentially a art piece from a highly trained professional who knows what they’re doing vs a part time min wage employee who had 1 hour training on how to pierce ears.

I literally wrote an entire essay in college why piercing guns should be banned with pictures and my professor told me she was so interested in my topic and had no idea and even googled the topic herself out of curiosity and was horrified on the amount of damage they case

I am a licensed piercing professional and this is all sound and accurate advice. Get your piercings done by a licensed professional at a reputable shop. Not at the mall kiosk that uses piercing guns. Not by your friend who ordered a kit off of Amazon. 

Association of Professional Piercers Aftercare Guide:

https://www.safepiercing.org/aftercare.php

subtextread:

meggannn:

am i too late to share my favorites (part 1)

warning for loud noises

humans can be so cute and funny and i love them

kaleighbytheway:

The very excited blonde lady owns the resort where this is taken. She’s super excited because this is the closest they’ve ever come in before. Everyone else is less excited because this was taken crack of dawn; when blonde lady realized how close the whales were coming, she ran around waking everybody up to see it.

leaveittotegan:

lumnie:

chemisquid:

dippersballoon:

I saw an opportunity and I took it

This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die

For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.

Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance:

  1. I won’t hesitate bitch
  2. Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow
  3. Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read
  4. Kermit the Frog jumps off building
  5. Fr e sh a voca do
  6. back at it again at Krispy Kreme
  7. There is only one thing worse than a rapist
  8. Club Jam (yes a really good book)
  9. At least the taco was free
  10. I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand
  11. Grandma loves ping pong too much
  12. If your name is Junior
  13. Welcome to Target
  14. I’m just cooking pizza
  15. Cole Sprouse dress-up game
  16. On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf
  17. Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free)
  18. Kid smacked by fly swatter
  19. Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school)
  20. Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator)
  21. WE’RE BREAKING FREE
  22. SAIL
  23. I’m Squidward
  24. So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies
  25. So no head? (breaking skateboard)
  26. Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere)
  27. No off topic questions (Chris Christie)
  28. What the fuck, Richard
  29. Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke)
  30. Bored as shiiiiii
  31. Liberian accent (plasma globe)
  32. New haircut (Parker Kit Hill)
  33. Summertime sadness (chicken)
  34. More like hurricane TORTILLA
  35. I got an a-bor-tion
  36. All Around the World (TheJasminator)
  37. When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light
  38. Snake licks lollipop
  39. Accept yourself, love yourself
  40. Be whatever you wanna be
  41. Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR)
  42. Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho
  43. Can I please get a waffle?
  44. Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars)
  45. Ebony Jenkins (shut up!)
  46. Kevin, watch the light dude
  47. Horse meditation
  48. A girl a dream & a clothing hanger
  49. Is that a weed? (911 microwave)
  50. Helium balloons (floating car)
  51. Fireplace fairy
  52. I’m your freestyle dance teacher
  53. I can’t believe you’ve done this
  54. Which way the Quiznos is
  55. Impossible paper toss shot
  56. Hemtube (dancing with cat)
  57. I nurture my skin (Shaq)
  58. Why are you running
  59. Happy birthday?
  60. Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom)
  61. Farkle falling
  62. Fuck you (soda machine)
  63. Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke)
  64. Take On Me
  65. And now my sock is wet (water gun)
  66. All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala
  67. When there’s too much drama at school
  68. Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub
  69. What’s your name? (ouija board)
  70. Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids)
  71. Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven)
  72. Girl scared of convertible car
  73. Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats)
  74. Would you like the spider on your hand?
  75. Shopping cart crash
  76. We actually have the chip reader now
  77. I’M A GIRAFFE
  78. Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti)

I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke

moveslikekeithrichards:

can u believe some people can see a cat & not immediately be filled with absolute unconditional love for that animal. they dont even get the urge to kiss them right on their little baby cat head. thats incomprehensible to me

iknituknot:
“A 20 dollar trip to Michaels has never more thoroughly captured my color aesthetics.
”
I relate to this on a deep level

iknituknot:

A 20 dollar trip to Michaels has never more thoroughly captured my color aesthetics.

I relate to this on a deep level

thatsthat24:

Being Overly Self-Conscious 😣

thatsthat24:

A New Teacher for the Wizarding World ✨

godtechturninheads:

feministperalta:

I’m so late in the game but RIP vine

I like can’t smile rn so this was torture